Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
