my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
