Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Someone came in the potted fern
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
