I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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