Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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