White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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