I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
