I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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