I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
