I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
