When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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