i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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