dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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