SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
