I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
