im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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