ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
