found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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