You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm really into asian looking animals
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
