so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Less talking, more tequila
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
