I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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