she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
