Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
