When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
