shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
