There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You don't make any sense
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