so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
