I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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