whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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