Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
