It's just like the Real World with babies
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
