I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
