Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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