I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
