Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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