Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
The convent might be a nice break from real life
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Randomize
