I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
