even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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