great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
