After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Randomize
