Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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