Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
