There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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