We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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