Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
