It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
