If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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