Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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