I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
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