when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
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