i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize