I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
someone owes me an orgasm
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
