I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
