i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize