I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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