Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize