Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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