you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
