Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
My breath smells like gin and sadness
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
