I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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