I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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