I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
