I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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