Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
