I think scott just propositioned me for sex
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
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