I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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