..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
my liver is dry heaving
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
