Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Just pee around me
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
