we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
