I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
